Right this second I have four cable guys milling about in my rose bushes. They’ve been there for an hour. Anyone who has been around for the past month or so knows about my cable service woes. It works, it doesn’t work, it works, the wind blows, it doesn’t work, etc. Today they’re bringing out […]
Author Archive | Chara
Me: Don’t get me wrong. I’m not mad. But if I buy you Corn Nuts now then, when you’re a teenager and you do whatever awful thing that teenagers do, you’ll be like, ‘It doesn’t matter. Mom will still buy me a car because she bought me Corn Nuts when I was 10.’
I stand by this: from slam to revelation is less than one second. I don’t know what happens in the brain during that split second, some sort of self-preservation or survival instinct or something, except that it’s a stupid survival instinct because suddenly you don’t have shelter.
Do you know how when you do one decent thing for your body you suddenly want to change your entire life and bring your family down with you?
I tell my kids that soda is pure crap, but it’s a tough sell with an empty Diet Coke can in my cup holder. Sometimes two empty cans.
It’s important not to have too many sweatpants days in a row because they’re soul crushing. Too much fleece will erode your character and next thing you know, you’re watching the entire fourth season of “Nurse Jackie” at 11 in the morning.
There were about 200 people in the room: 196 men, 4 women. One of the women was Nina. Two of the women worked with Nina. They were older, grand dames of porn. And then there was me. Twenty-five. A research assistant dressed in Gap. I scooched my chair closer to my husband, then boyfriend, and pulled out a notebook, ready to learn.
Suburban parents are not a nomadic tribe. Every facet of the decision making process that leads us to the suburbs relates back to a single common element: it is easier.
Active defiance from a child makes you understand why their parents were so eager for free after school care.
But despite that, you will still blame the parents for their behavior.
My kids are probably over-scheduled, as are we by extension. Adulthood is not outrageously difficult. Nor is parenting. Raising kids with the schedules of adults, while maintaining your own adult schedule, gets a little dicey.