There are a lot of questions associated with being Mary Ann. Why did the Howells take a three hour harbor tour with a trunk full of money? What’s the deal with Ginger’s wardrobe? If they can build huts for everyone, why can’t they fix the boat?
It was a watershed moment for us because we’d always assumed Apple was just fluffy and bear-like. And she is. Fluffy and bear-like and really, really fat.
At first I was surprised by the name. Caitlyn is more of a Millennial name. It has kind of an Aqua Net vibe.
At age 27 I transformed into a withering pile of dust and the only reason to get up in the morning is to stoke my delusion.
In the 1700s Nantucket was full of badass whaler attitude. Now it’s better known as a place where straight men wear a lot of pink. A pretty place, no doubt. But still, lots of pink.
And then she learned to talk and we all breathed a sigh of relief. Our precious Girl wasn’t just a sparkling bundle of taffeta and mind-numbing goodness.
I have no intention of throwing down the happy hour gauntlet and fighting for my $5.00 Mai Tai. It’s their bar and they can do what they want.
If you know me at all, if you’ve talked to me just once, you know that I wouldn’t last fifteen minutes as a survivalist. But I’ll never unfollow Homestead & Survival.
It was a fair fight. It was a race. I sped up marginally. She stopped to walk. I won.
I’d like to put this on all of you, on all of us, that on some level we all want to live on a farm. That we’re grasping for some bit of nature to compliment our freeways. But, come on. We all know that’s bullshit. Fermenting cabbage is not a universal experience. You know how I know? Because I looked up Fermenting Crock on Craigslist. Not a hot resale item.